"To my dearest body,
I don't really know where to start but I will by saying you are strong, and beautiful. Life experiences may have made you even more tough. And even if until this day, when I'm writing you these few lines, you don't know all your potential, keep in mind that some brighter days are slowly coming around the corner.
I haven't treated you the kindest since the past few years but I promise I'm getting better at this.
I sometimes felt like I didn't deserve you at all, trying to sabotage everything you were. Please forgive me for all the bullshit I gave you."
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Hey friends, I hope you are doing just fine.
You cannot imagine how hard it is for me to click "publish" and that the internet might read this very vulnerable post... But I don't care (ok right, I do a little). With everything going on in life lately, and with some my life experiences, I felt the need to speak out real life shit every girls might deal with. Comparing yourself with what you see on social media, and other people in real life made me so insecure.
All that was leading to emotional eating and having a bad relationship with my body (and food). If you think having those types of issues, please take it seriously and tell someone that truely cares for you. I did not, and it made my journey a lot harder in many things.
I'm not comfortable with exposing people or every aspects of my life, because this is nobody's business, and because it honestly makes my heart cry a little bit, but I'm sure you understand.
Anyways, that event was not on my life list planning and it completely scattered my relationship with my self. Being hypersensitive, a dramaqueen, a fire cracker, I am really bad at temporizing my feelings and emotions : either black, either white. In the last months, it's been mainly black.
I lost about 5 kg in a glimpse of an eye, hated my self reflection in the mirror, and couldn't keep up with my inner feelings on a daily basis.
And one day, I was sick of it, sick of how bad I had let my mind ruin my own body. That was my turning point.
4 weeks ago, I started to learn a little bit about yoga, morning stretches, and gentle flow routines.
I never thought that I would ever stick to it, but I did. Part of it was that my body reclamed it. And let me tell you, it feels so good. ✨
Also, I learned to listen to what my guts were telling me : fuel them the best way possible without cutting what you love.
Today, things are getting better, and I can proudly say that I am starting to love my body as it is : with scars, eczema, keratosis pilaris (aka chicken skin), cellulite, skinny fat, visible bones and everything it is.
So please, trust your body, emotions, and feelings. Sometimes, your eyes don't see what's really going on inside of you.
* share your story if you feel like to 💖
MUCH LOVE. xx
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